The Good, The Bad, The Ugly... With a Side of Heaven

The Good:

I spontaneously went into labor at 5:30am on Tuesday, October 5th. This was ideal because it was spontaneous, and because no one had to be rudely awoken at an atrocious hour to come watch Aubin. We were able to easily drop him off with our good friends Ricky and Christina for some fun! He was quite upset at first because Aubin has a great sense when things are off, and he knew something wasn't quite right with me and I think it scared him. Once he got over that though, he behaved quite well from what we hear. Lilia Luke was born at 8:42pm. She is GORGEOUS and basically the cutest little girl ya ever did see. And boy does she look like her brother!



The Bad:

After a long (WAY shorter than last time, but still tiring) 15 hour labor including 1.5 hours of pushing, I had to have another c-section. Lilia was coming face first, a very rare thing wouldn't ya know? In addition I developed an infection and had a fever, and she was having some inconsistent heart rates. The docs (all 5 of them! Talk about special attention) felt that delivering her via Cesarean was the safest thing for both of us. Plus, with her being face first, there really was no way of getting her out completely safe. I was not happy about having to have another c-section, but I agree it was the best plan of action given the circumstance. The sad part this time was that because the anesthesiologist believed me about my intolerance to anesthesia, and since I kept feeling stinging during the c-section, I ended up so doped up I wasn't conscious again for almost an hour after the surgery.


The Ugly:

Because of her position in the birth canal, Lilia was born with almost the whole left side of her face severely bruised. I'm not exaggerating. Even half of her tongue was bruised. She was in pain and hardly ate anything the first few days because it was obvious it hurt her to try. She also had a couple of lesions on her eyes. The NICU hadn't ever seen anything like that before apparently, so they had to kind of guess at what to do for treatment. Luckily their guess worked. It was also discovered that she and I have opposing blood types and this caused my body to create antibodies which entered her own blood and her red blood cells began attacking themselves. Awesome. Not. While in the NICU Lilia was also diagnosed with a heart condition called Ebstein's Anomaly and has a hole in the bottom of her heart called a Ventrical Septal Defect (VSD). One of the biggest concerns with Ebstein's is Congestive Heart Failure. There are of course many other concerns, but that is one of the biggest. In addition, her blood platelet count is alarmingly low. Ridiculously low. No one knows why. Lastly, we were told that at this time (and for an unknown period of time) there is no way we can return to Utah. The elevation poses a serious threat to her health given her heart condition. In fact, had I moved to Utah before she was delivered she would have had severe complications and possibly not even survived. Scary to think about. So grateful we insisted on staying here till she was born!


A Taste of Heaven:

Lilia is our miracle. Despite her condition and other complications, she continued to heal and recover remarkably well. With each day her face got better and better. She looks like a new baby now! The docs were absolutely positive she would have to undergo photo therapy to some extent because of the blood cell issue, severe bruising and the fact that she wasn't eating much. Well, they were wrong :) Her Bili count was always spot on and her body recovered from the rest without skipping a beat. As far as her heart is concerned, she is doing awesome. Her Dr.'s have been amazed by her progress and lack of signs that anything is wrong. She doesn't display any indication whatsoever of being sick. Her vitals have been, and remain, right where they should be. And despite her platelet count being so low, again she displays no negative symptoms that would normally appear with such a situation (such as bleeding out spontaneously or severe bruising at the slightest touch). It was because of her steady vitals that she was able to come home with us. As you can imagine we are two of the most paranoid parents on the planet right now! I fear for our sanity as surely we will get no sleep worrying that her heart or breathing has stopped or become erratic! However, we know the Lord is with us, and most importantly with her. He is protecting and watching over our sweet little one. That knowledge is such a comfort for us and gives us such hope for the future. She is strong. She is generally very healthy, and she has continued to be a fighter. In this situation, there really isn't anything more we can ask for.


We are so grateful for the Lord and His gospel in our lives. I've always been grateful, but never more than now. As the doctors told me my new baby girl had a heart defect, I felt I would literally shatter to pieces. The worst immediately entered my mind. I was so scared and so desperate. I was somewhat comforted when my husband arrived to be with us as we learned more about her condition, but my mind could NOT focus on anything but my fears. As Chris gave our daughter a blessing that night, I knew things would be okay. Her life would not be unaffected by her condition, but she would be blessed and would have the Lord to be with her. I felt the Spirit so strongly. I can't say the fear fully subsided, it still hasn't and maybe never will, but I have faith that the Lord has a plan for our little girl and He is in control. God is so good.


Thank you for all of your prayers, all of your hugs, and all of your well wishes. We are so very blessed.


Some fun facts about Lilia:

1. She has Auburn hair. It started out dark like Aubin's did, but I noticed right away the strawberry blond tinge of her lashes and eyebrows. Chris calls her hair copper. We'll see how it pans out in the end. I don't think she will be a full on red-head, but I think it's a good bet she'll be Auburn with quite a bit of red in it. Ya know, that color everyone dyes their hair. Lucky girl! Oh, and it grows kind of in a mohawk right down the center of her head. so cute! It's like this little wave of hair right on the top of her head. She has hair on the sides and back as well, but it's not as long or as thick as the very top "wave."
   
2. She has the longest fingernail beds I have ever seen! You should have seen her thumb nail when she was born. It was amazing! She is going to have the kind of beautiful fingernails I always wanted.


3. She is a total snuggle bug and she scrunches up just like a little frog. It's the cutest thing. she even has the skinny skinny legs and the little round tummy like a frog. Adorable.


4. We have discovered the source of all that movement while she was in my tummy. We may as well call her our little windmill. She constantly flails her arms in a circular motion just like a little windmill. So funny.
   
5. She loves to sleep, and sleep, and sleep. She only sleeps about 2 hours at a time at night, but that's something at least! However, if you hold her, she'll sleep like 4 hours. So yes, I do that usually the last stretch at night so I can get a little more sleep before the Aubinator wakes up!


6. She will NOT eat from a bottle! She did in the NICU, but ever since she's come home she will only eat breast milk from momma. My mom was able to get her to eat about 1.5 oz. of formula just twice while she was here, but it was quite the struggle. There's no way she will take a bottle of any kind from me though! When we had to go back to the NICU she wouldn't eat anything from them either. Little buggar!


7. She makes the cutest, sweetest noises in her sleep. Chris says they are the exact same ones I make in my sleep, but I can't speak to the truth of that! At any rate, it's so precious. She makes these little high pitched sighs. It's so sweet.


8. In addition to the sighs, she grunts like crazy. My mom said that she has never met a baby that grunts as much as her. It's hilarious. She's constantly grunting. Which in a way is kind of sad because it seems like she's always uncomfortable. But let's face it, almost every sound (minus a screaming cry of course) is cute when a baby makes it.


9. She is itty-bitty. Well, to me at least. Aubin was born weighing 8lbs. 7 oz. and was 21.5" long. He was over 9lbs. when we left the hospital when he was 4 days old. Lilia was 7lbs. 12 oz. and 19" long when we left the hospital on day 6. Now at 4 weeks old she weighs just 8lbs. 1.25 oz. and is 20.5" long. I don't think she is going to go through clothes the same way Aubin did at all! The funny thing is, she was born at an average weight, but she is just tiny somehow! Everyone who sees her doesn't know how she could weigh so much. She has short, skinny little legs and arms on this long little torso. So cute. Again, a frog :)


10. Chris calls her his little Muppet. This is because she has an almost perfectly round face and she's like a bag full of cooked noodles. She just flops around! She actually is very strong and has impressive control of her head and neck, and she can stand practically unaided when she wants. However, most of the time she's just this cute floppy little thing. Cracks us up.


11. She's ticklish! If you tickle her on her side, she scrunches up on that side. It's so funny and so precious! Chris can't hardly stand how cute it is, so he of course tickles her multiple times a day. :P


12. She is truly a daddy's girl. Aubin wouldn't calm down for anyone the way he would calm down for me, and Lilia is the same with her daddy. When I've tried everything and can't think of what else to do, I hand her over to Chris. Even if it doesn't last very long, she always calms down for at least a little bit, and she will sleep for hours on her daddy's chest. Chris is loving feeling needed and useful. He had a hard time with that with Aubin, and often still does. So it can definitely be said that Aubin is a mamma's boy and Lilia is a daddy's girl. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. :)

We are all enjoying getting to know this sweet little girl. And as expected, Aubin is a doting older brother and is so loving with his little sister. He is definitely unaware of just how big and powerful he is next to her, so we have to watch carefully, but he already loves Lilia and asks to hold her and kisses her all the time. He also loves to help by covering her with her blanket (or his), and getting her pacifier, etc... Not having all the attention has been, and continues to be, hard on him. Luckily he hasn't seemed to feel the need to take out his frustration on her. It comes out in other ways, but not with any negativity toward her. I hope that continues to be the case.

More about this growing family to come soon. Love you all!

Just a week before I went into labor!

Happy and excited daddy waiting to meet his little girl :)

I finally got to hold her, but only for about 3 minutes before she had to be taken back to the NICU with her daddy. It was a very lonely and confusing night for me.

Poor little babe hooked up to all the monitors and the IV. We both had to be on antibiotics for 3 whole days.

This is hard to look at, but this is what she looked like the day after she was born. Many of the nurses commented on how they had never seen a baby so bruised and it made them want to cry. I knew she was going to be bruised pretty bad because the doctors warned me, but when I saw her all I could see was my precious beautiful baby. I did however feel bad for how much she must have hurt!

This picture is sad because she is still so swollen and bruised, but it was the first night I got to have her in my room with me so it also brings me a lot of joy. She was just 3 days old and already looked much better than when she was born, and I think this face is how I will always remember her. Just sweet and heavenly. Looking at it now still makes me teary. I was so happy to get to know her better, and I could feel she felt the same way about me. We got to have each other all to our selves... Finally.

One day later and looking even more beautiful!

Lilia is very tactile and she often is able to hold her pacifier in and also often pushes it out of her mouth. One time when I was feeding her a bottle in the hospital she actually grabbed the bottle and was holding it up almost completely by herself.

All prettied up and ready to finally go home!

I love this picture. This was our first full day home with Lilia and Aubin just gave her a kiss on the head.

Pretty, if not a little surprised, girl.

Grandma and Grandpa (not pictured) came to help. Thank goodness!

Truly not our best looking moment, but a happy family still. (Note Aubin was done taking pictures by this time.)

Chillin'

My little China doll all dressed and waiting for her debut with Nana.

Nana came for two weeks. We were SO glad to have help!

Papa came too!

Beautiful, precious, special, sweet little girl.